Monday, 8 July 2013

Daddies little girl

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(I am scheduling this post so if it appears in the morning and you have concerns please don't!)

Right now it is 10.40pm and I have just shared a whiskey with my Dad. I haven't seen him for a while, several weeks actually, and we never get time alone, nor do we ever talk about anything deep - he's just not that sort of Dad, he's of the generation of 'leave that to mum'.

Over the last few months I have made the catastrophic mistake of confiding in my Mum about a few personal issues with M. I have done what anyone would do and had a bit of a moan. Fundamentally M is ok, there are just a few things which irritate me and they are mentioned in a few posts here. Apparently Mum and Dad do talk.

So tonight my Dad says 'you don't have to tell me or answer this question... do you think it is going to work?' (referring to my relationship with M). He goes on to explain how Mum tells him a few bits and pieces and that he is 'concerned' but doesn't want to interfere. I tell him that there are some issues but M is a good man, respectful, kind, gentle etc. He just has some tendencies which are not conventional which I find somewhat frustrating and, very occasionally, selfish. 

We don't really discuss it any further but now I know he is concerned it has my mind even more unsettled. I spoke earlier about not feeling worried about being away from home and not feeling I feel worse. Ultimately, as I explained to my Dad this evening, it is my decision and if I think it is not working out then I will make the right choice for me. I have to learn to switch off from opinion. No-one knows my relationship and everyone has struggles. Unfortunately my Mum and Dad have the tendency to right people off after one blip. That;s obviously where I get my 'my God it's all over after one fight' attitude from!

So now I am left wondering what else they are thinking. It is best to just carry on as normal I think and not bring it up again. I have to work this out for myself. Like I did before. And before that!

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