Friday, 5 July 2013


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Do you ever have days where you feel like you are totally absorbed into the world? I mean, like you say something to someone and it goes through them, or you smile at someone and they look past you, not seeing you? To me that feels like utter absorption into the world, into their mind, into your immediate background. Sometimes you can feel like screaming...I DO EXIST! I AM HERE! But other days you are happy to blend in.

I am away this week and thought I would be desperately missing home, but I am not and that is very much down to the fact that I don't feel special enough or valued enough there currently. I know that will change. I really do, but it is how I feel now. I feel a touch taken for granted, I know that will devastate M if he finds that out. 

I don't feel like we have enough fun together at all. We don't do enough. He would be happiest at home, curtains shut and his head stuck into his PS3. I could wander in naked and I doubt it would make a difference to him. Perhaps I will try that... let you know how it goes!

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