Have you ever stopped to notice how different people impact upon your life in different ways? I am thinking about this a lot today. I sometimes resort to writing lists to help resolve situations I am finding tough or confusing.
I mentioned Robert before, in a previous post - he had a huge impact in my life - massive. He still does but in different ways now. Maybe this is a time thing. We were together for a long time, a really long time. We knew each other totally. We had one of those relationships where you can walk in a room and know what someone is feeling without them saying one word. He really made me laugh too. That made an impact, but if I am honest, that impact has only been made since I don't have it anymore. I am not suggesting I am regretful, just that I miss the 'lighter' elements of what we had.
Now, with my current man, whom we shall call 'Mark', things are totally different. Not a bad thing, but I miss the lightheartedness (is that a word?) of things I had before. Mark is more serious, a deep thinker (something I do like by the way!), but there is a lot of heaviness too. It can be challenging, but he is also so much more open about feelings and not scared of talking about tricky situations - that is a real plus and something Rob and I didn't do - a big reason it fell apart.
Marks impact on me has been significant too, but very, very different. Sometimes I question our longevity when it comes to seriousness of it all. Then I remember there has been many tough times, out of our control, that we have had to deal with, and I start to feel guilty for doubting us.
But still, if you are the sort of person that needs 'light' and laughter it is easy to become dragged down, especially when you are the sort of person who constantly tries to lift people up.