Sometimes the trials of it all really wear me down and I often find myself at the point of tears in situations where I should feel the total opposite. This is all down to change.
I am such a creature of habit. I do not like change at all, and I like plenty of warning that something is going to break my routine. Everything is in the middle of change right now and I am feeling super unsettled. I am sure it will be fine, not all scary things are wrong, I know that much. I am getting older and I need to surrender to life. I am flighty sometimes, like one of those men in films, or like Chandler in friends (!). I find committing hard, I feel 'locked in' - even if I don't want to be anywhere else and I wouldn't have it any differently - I still feel that way. A sense of panic can wash over me so fast and before I know it I am drowning in it.
I will write a post in a couple of weeks and update you on my stupidity, and, I bet you all my heart, I feel just fine - it is just lifes little test. I will learn from this and I will grow... I WILL!!
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